Should Adults Be Allowed to Order Kids’ Meals?

So, I know this sounds stupid, like really stupid, but I’m going to just say it. I wanted a grilled cheese sandwich. Not in the “modern gastropub sourdough brioche truffle situation” sense. I wanted the one that comes on the kids menu. The sad little square one, possibly cut into two triangles if they’re feeling fancy, comes with some fries or apple slices or whatever. I had a bad day, and I just…that was it. That was the comfort food that I wanted. I saw the grilled cheese on the menu, nestled beneath the crayon drawings and cartoon mascots, and I asked for it.

And the waitress gave me this really weird look, not exactly mean, but kind of like I asked if I could borrow her shoes. “Um…that’s for kids only.” Like I had asked to sneak into a bounce house without paying.

So apparently we live in a society where grilled cheese sandwiches have an age requirement on them. I didn’t know that. Cool cool cool.

Why Adults Even Want Kids Food (Other than, You Know, They Are Good)

But here is the thing, once you have had someone, classified you as too grown for mac and cheese, you start to ponder; is this a widely shared sentiment? Are people really upset about this? (spoiler – yes). There is this whole unsubstantiated disagreement that is happening somewhere, and I just happened to stroll right into it with my idiotic comfort craving.

But seriously, why wouldn’t an adult want to order off the kids menu sometimes? Like why not? Not everyone is walking around with the appetite of a lumberjack. Some people are on medications that disrupt their hunger, or they simply don’t want to devour a 14-inch plate of fettuccine at a staggering 2 PM on a Tuesday. Sometimes you’re just not that hungry. Or maybe you are hungry, but only in a certain, very beige, way.

And money. Let’s not pretend that it’s not a factor. Even fast food these days can hit you with a $17 receipt and have you reflecting on every choice that led you to that moment. Meanwhile, you can still spot the kids’ menu with a $6 burger and fries, just. sitting. there. Since it is literally right there, if I can spend less for something that I will actually finish, why wouldn’t I?

Also— and I might have just lost everybody here— some of those foods slap. I feel perfectly fine admitting it.w Chicken nuggets? A classic. Plain noodles with butter? A low-key hero. PB&J? Emotional support sandwich. These are foods with no drama. No microgreens. No deconstructed aioli foam.

Why Restaurants Get Weird About It

That said—okay— I understand why restaurants don’t love this. For sure. I mean, it’s not that they are being entitled or spiteful, even though it can feel that way when you are being rejected your mini corn dog like you are some sort of food fraud.

From their perspective, it is a money thing. Kids’ meals are essentially bait. They charge them low to get families through the doors. They aren’t really made to be profitable, so when a bunch of adults start ordering from that section, the numbers don’t really add up. As it is, they are barely breaking even.

Secondly: consistency. If one server allows you to get something from the kids’ menu but another server does not, then you know what is going to happen? People lose their minds. Yelp reviews. Angry tweets. “They wouldn’t let me order my dinosaur nuggets!!” and now someone is getting yelled at in the back for following the policy too strictly or not strictly enough.

And if they do allow adults to order off of it, now you have a boat load of requests and customizations to deal with. For example: “Can I swap my apples for fries and can I get my nuggets grilled instead of fried and can I have it on a gluten-free bun?” and the kitchen is already swamped during the brunch service and now they have to put together custom toddler orders for “grown” adults. I understand why they are hesitant. I understand. It is annoying. But still.

The Weird Vibe Around It

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